In her just-released memoir, Thin Places, Mary DeMuth is beautifully candid about the abuse in her past, and its effects on her present. Rather than sugarcoat her pain, Mary writes through it. She sees that, even in her darkest times, God came near. He drew close in those "thin places", and He draws close to her still.
I love Mary's honesty, her lyrical way with words, her heart. She doesn't offer simplistic steps to healing--a tiny band-aid for a deep wound. Rather, she offers Jesus. He comes near, she finds, to heal from the inside out.
I cried as I read Thin Places, not just for the pain Mary lived, but for the beauty God has brought from the ashes in her life. Her courage to be vulnerable about abuse, marriage, motherhood, and faith will open readers' eyes to the God who sees--to the God who comes near in thin places.
I've written about Mary DeMuth's fiction books before (Daisy Chain and A Slow Burn). Mary also has several great works of non-fiction: Authentic Parenting in a Post-Modern Culture, Building the Christian Family You Never Had, and Ordinary God, Extraordinary God. Read more of Mary's story here, or visit her website here.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Bookshelf: Thin Places
Friday, February 5, 2010
Bless You
(Originally posted in January 2008.)
This morning, somewhere during the rinsing of breakfast dishes and the chatter of little voices far too happy for the early hour, Molly sneezed. I didn't hear it, and apparently no one else did either, because she suddenly blurted in a rather offended tone, "Is anybody gonna BLESS me?"
"What?"
"I sneezed," she explained, "so someone needs to bless me."
"Bless you!" Anne encouraged.
"Bless you," said Nathan, rolling his eyes.
"Bless you, Molly," I added dutifully.
"Thanks." Problem solved.
Molly is the third child, so she is used to fighting for her place. She must make herself known, I suppose, or run the risk of being overlooked. A little self-centered, perhaps, and childish.
Honestly, I'm not much different. Oh, I don't care if someone acknowledges my sneezes or not. In fact, when the right flowers are blooming, I sneeze a dozen times, and everyone grows tired of blessing me anyway. But in other areas--in my relationships and accomplishments and even my failed efforts--I often look around and selfishly wonder, "Is anybody gonna bless me?"
And of course I most frequently address my complaints to God Himself:
"God, don't You see me serving these children, day after day, without thanks?"
"Wow, is Anybody else impressed with how humble I just was?"
"I sacrificed! So Someone needs to bless me."
But God rarely throws a party over me when I think He ought. In fact, when I'm self-absorbed, I couldn't possibly be more unlike Jesus. Consider Paul's words:
but in humility consider others better than yourselves...
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself and became obedient to death--
even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father."
(Philippians 2:3-11)
Followers of Jesus, then, have no business fighting for rights or making themselves known. And when we feel overlooked, well, we should. Everything we do must point to God, bringing glory to His name, and not our own.
A prayer: Lord, enough of me. Let me serve as Jesus served. Let my life bless You!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Not Enough
Not loving enough.
Not bold enough.
Not organized enough.
Not relaxed enough.
(Not skinny enough.)
The enemy shames me, robs me of abundance,
Whispers to my heart, "Not enough."
But You're more than enough.
Ample grace, power perfected in weakness.
You make the ugly not-enoughs
a chance for grace to show up even more.
When I am weak, then
I am strong.
You are sufficient, when
I am not enough.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Lessons from a Basset Hound, part 10: Friendship
I've read about dogs that save their masters' lives by sniffing out cancerous moles. Last Friday morning, I had a similar experience with Belle the basset hound.
"Similar" in the not-very-similar-at-all sense.
I got dressed, put on a pair of black slip-on shoes, and went downstairs. I took my usual place on a barstool while the kids did schoolwork at the kitchen table. Belle came over to greet me, which is a polite way to say, I scratched her ears and she smelled me all over.
She seemed particularly interested in smelling my feet.
After she gave a few sniffs and snorts, I nudged her away with my toe. Belle wandered off for a minute but soon returned to my shoes. She smelled my left foot, then right, then back again to the left. Finally, exasperated, I said, "Quit, Belle! Leave me alone!"
From my high barstool, I held out my legs to pull my feet away from Belle's nose. And that's when I saw it.
My shoes didn't match.
Both were black. Both were slip-ons. Both had little straps across the top. They were alike enough to satisfy a fashion-challenged girl, but different enough to bother a basset hound.
Belle's fashion scents may not have saved my life, but she did spare me from public embarrassment. How great to have a friend who sniffs out my mistakes! It's biblical, really.
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
Such friendship is scary. It's hard to let someone "sharpen" me--painful to give permission to sniff out my sins. I use my introvert personality as an excuse to not get too close, when really I'm just too proud to be corrected.
But scary or not, I need friends who hold me accountable and say, "Amy, you need to work on this area of your life," or "Have you prayed about it?" A friend who sniffs me out, even when I nudge her away--"Leave me alone!"--is a life-giving, maybe even life-saving, treasure.
Previous Lessons from a Basset Hound:
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Bookshelf: The Prodigal God
In his book The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith, Timothy Keller explores a familiar parable with fresh insight. His message is at once hopeful and challenging--comforting and convicting. I finished Keller's book with a better understanding of the passage, a greater awareness of my own "elder-brother lostness", and a deeper sense of gratitude for God's lavish grace.
A few quotes from The Prodigal God:
"...one of the signs that you may not grasp the unique, radical nature of the gospel is that you are certain that you do."
"...The word 'prodigal' does not mean 'wayward' but, according to Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 'recklessly spendthrift.' It means to spend until you have nothing left. This term is therefore as appropriate for describing the father in the story as his younger son."
"Jesus' purpose is not to warm our hearts but to shatter our categories."
"Elder brothers obey God to get things. They don't obey God to get God himself--in order to resemble him, love him, know him, and delight him."
"As long as you are trying to earn your salvation by controlling God through goodness, you will never be sure you have been good enough for him. You simply aren't sure God loves and delights in you."
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Random Funny: I Do Go On
One afternoon, Andy and I stopped in Sport Chalet for something he wanted. I have no more business in Sport Chalet than he has in Barnes and Noble. But somehow, for the few minutes we were there, I got romantic, absurd notions that perhaps there is an inner athlete within me, which will only surface if I buy all the cool gadgets they sell at Sport Chalet.
On every aisle and at every rack, I made the most ridiculous comments.
"Really, exercise would be a lot more fun if I wore such cute clothes while I did it!"
"I think I'd jog more often if I had this water bottle."
"What I really need is a pair of these shoes that will tone my backside." (Okay, yes, I really do need those.)
I am a marketing agency's dream.
I paused the longest at a rack of headbands--the wide, earmuff headbands that those cute, 95-pound, 20-year-old girls wear over their ears when they run around my neighborhood.
"Oh, I really need that headband thing," I said to Andy, who stood nearby. He didn't respond.
"My ears always get so cold when I walk in the mornings. And my nose. It makes my nose run. They should make one of these for your nose." Again, silence.
I sorted through the rack, looking for just the right color. "The pink is a little too cute. Black? Do you think I'm too pale for black?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Andy shift his weight uncomfortably, but he did not speak.
Without looking up, I prattled on. "What? Are they too expensive, you think? Cheaper at WalMart, probably. Or are they just too cool for me? Probably so. I probably couldn't pull one of these off, could I?"
Finally, I paused for breath and looked up for Andy's reply. Only, the man nearby was not Andy. He was a complete stranger. Andy was clear across the store. The man to whom I'd been speaking stared straight ahead with wide eyes and a red face. He was no doubt praying that this crazy woman would stop asking his opinion on headgear.
"Oh, I totally thought you were my husband!" I practically yelled at him. "I am so sorry!"
He smiled, relieved. "That's okay," he said. "I was just wondering how long you'd...go on."
Oh, sir. You aren't the only one who wonders that.
Monday, January 18, 2010
How Firm a Foundation
I tried to sing this hymn the other day, but got stuck on the words. I pulled out my old hymnbook for help.
Incidentally, I stole that hymnbook from the church I attended as a child. What kind of person steals hymnbooks?
But thievery aside, these are powerful lyrics, taken right from scripture. The third stanza practically jumped off the page at me. I have friends who are going through deep waters lately. How good to know He will never, no never, no never forsake.
How firm a foundation, you saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He has said,
To you, who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
Fear not, I am with you, O be not dismayed,
For I am your God and will still give you aid;
I’ll strengthen you, help you, and cause you to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
When through the deep waters I call you to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with you, your troubles to bless,
And sanctify to you your deepest distress.
When through fiery trials your pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be your supply;
The flame shall not hurt you; I only design
Your dross to consume, and your gold to refine.
The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.
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